How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: Zero. They’re too busy sitting in the dark with their laptops, tapping out rewrites.

And that, my friends, is why you haven’t heard from me.

I have absolutely nothing interesting to report, except to quote Hemmingway, an author who famously agonized over every sentence, that “the only kind of writing is rewriting.”

When I embraced the writerly life late in life, I thought it would be a refreshing change from my previous career as a model and actor. Those jobs required a zen-like approach to a life that was either careening at full-tilt or skidding to a screeching halt.

Since then, I’ve learned that writing is no different; the creative high is great, but the lows are what will kill you.

The good news is the manuscript edits, copy-editing, and proofreading are behind me; it’s now out of my control and up to my readers to decide.

Next on the agenda is to emerge from a three-year, hermetic existence and suddenly become a marketing genius on social media. On the platform of my choice—FB, IG, TikTok, YouTube, Snapchat, Pinterest, Twitter, whatever—my publisher expects me to miraculously burst forth, drawing thousands of followers with my unique mission statement. On what grounds or by what message, I’m not exactly sure. A TikTok boomer dancing to “Moves like Jagger?” An aging Instagram model, weeping and baring her soul? A silver-haired Facebook vigilante trumpeting silver-is-the-new-blond? Oh wait, all of that is already out there.

So…

Maybe I’ll take a cue from an episode on Seinfeld, where George and Jerry pitch their show as a show about…

Absolutely nothing.